- The hangovers… not one little bit… and I didn’t even have them that often really. But still, farewell to all that.
- The cravings…. when I got deeply into an alcohol creep… I would start to really crave a drink, 3pm – 4pm were the worse as they are getting so close to 5pm which would be almost ‘that time.’ These cravings felt very physical for me, deep in the tummy as well as being deep in the head. I hated that feeling…
- Not giving in to the cravings… I hated cravings so much as I generally was not giving in to them and this was very difficult and stressful. ‘White knuckling it’ is not relaxing or pleasant.
- Worrying about being over the limit for driving… there’s always a worry isn’t there? I had a habit of drinking two glasses of wine fast when I arrived at a place and then not drinking any more (generally.) That way I got a hit and a buzz but sobered up to drive home… but still, it was always a worry. And now NEVER having to think about it is so good.
- Always thinking about how much I was drinking… OK this wasn’t a constant thing really, I did have weeks and months and maybe even years when the kids were little when I just didn’t think about it much. But the past 9 or ten years, things did change and I was drinking more, constantly hypervigilant about it… so stressful.
And another: I do not miss waking up in the mornings thinking: ‘What rubbish was I talking last night.’
Because, when drinking, I have what we call in my family ‘Smith Talking Disease.’ We can rabbit on and on for hours and hours, without drawing breath, without hope of anyone else getting a word in, without having anything remotely resembling a proper conversation. In sobriety, I’m cured of Smith Talking Disease.