Sober and Feeling Slightly Sorry for Myself

Sobriety – a long road behind, a long road ahead

​I was out with some old pals last night, we have been meeting on the first Thursday of the month for about 15 years, having met before that when all our kids were doing early intervention. Our boys are now young men, all on the autism spectrum. Anyway, great food and chat… but I did catch myself thinking: ‘Why is it that they can all have a glass of wine but I cannot?’  Ah well, that’s because I can’t bear how obsessive I get and how stressful it is to stop myself drinking as much as I secretly would like to.

I did say to one pal, whom I’ve talked to as I stopped and started over the years, that I do feel strongly that something has shifted and the need has gone. It has too.  And that some people can moderate and some just never drink much… and I am not one of those people. Anyway, did feel slightly sorry for myself and a bit confused.  But overall thrilled to know that I would feel fine today, which I do… and which I generally didn’t after these dinners as they were a great excuse to have a good swally many, many times for me.

NB we were at Matteo in Double Bay, Sydney. There were NO AF drinks on the drinks menu. Shockers. They did make me an AF mojito which was actually most refreshingly delicious. But I’d have loved a beer!

PS Of course, not all of these friends do drink wine. One never does as wine always gives her migraines. She does have the odd G+T and did tonight. Not that I noticed… hahaha… not that I ever would not notice!

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